So yesterday my day continued to not go as planned and I got to bed around 2a.m. not because I was having a crazy party night but because it took that long to find myself in a bed. Trains that weren't arriving, buses that didn't come, and tacos that also required hunting down.
Saturday 29 September 2012
Walk the talk
Today is a beautiful day,
Yesterday was disgustingly hot but today is perfect for being alive.
I loved this morning I got done everything I needed to get done.
This afternoon is filled with regrets.
I regret coming to the airport only an hour early.
I regret not getting on the the first taxi that arrived and stood next to me.
I regret not just paying the 70 dollars for my overweight luggage.
I regret not buying the first alternative flight offered to me.
I regret crying...a lot at the airport as my best laid plans crumbled around me.
I regret so much about this day that turned out to be so expensive. I have spent money I just don't have.
And I had so many options for this to be different but I didn't act on any of them fast enough.
However I do not regret thinking before I act. today my thinking had resulted in missing out, but that does not mean I will act without thinking from here on, that I refuse.
So I regret my decisions but I accept that all the decisions I made were based on the information I had at the time, and I think I made the best choices I could with what was available to me.
ultimately I bought a plane ticket a while ago, bought a train ticket to get to the airport today, bought a taxi after it turned out the trains weren't working as expected.
bought another plane ticket after realising I had missed my flight, my new one way ticket costs more than my entire trip combined.
I do not like a lot of the details about today but I do not regret that much really, I did the best I could, and honestly I was poor yesterday and I'm still poor today,I haven't really been tipped into extra poor...just the same general level of poverty...so what's a couple hundred dollars.
I'm also dehydrated from crying if you're interested....but I packed a packed meal so I've at least saved money there.
This is my first blog from my new shiny phone...that's a success too....really surprisingly today is probably balanced successes and failures....depending on how you lean on the balance
Yesterday was disgustingly hot but today is perfect for being alive.
I loved this morning I got done everything I needed to get done.
This afternoon is filled with regrets.
I regret coming to the airport only an hour early.
I regret not getting on the the first taxi that arrived and stood next to me.
I regret not just paying the 70 dollars for my overweight luggage.
I regret not buying the first alternative flight offered to me.
I regret crying...a lot at the airport as my best laid plans crumbled around me.
I regret so much about this day that turned out to be so expensive. I have spent money I just don't have.
And I had so many options for this to be different but I didn't act on any of them fast enough.
However I do not regret thinking before I act. today my thinking had resulted in missing out, but that does not mean I will act without thinking from here on, that I refuse.
So I regret my decisions but I accept that all the decisions I made were based on the information I had at the time, and I think I made the best choices I could with what was available to me.
ultimately I bought a plane ticket a while ago, bought a train ticket to get to the airport today, bought a taxi after it turned out the trains weren't working as expected.
bought another plane ticket after realising I had missed my flight, my new one way ticket costs more than my entire trip combined.
I do not like a lot of the details about today but I do not regret that much really, I did the best I could, and honestly I was poor yesterday and I'm still poor today,I haven't really been tipped into extra poor...just the same general level of poverty...so what's a couple hundred dollars.
I'm also dehydrated from crying if you're interested....but I packed a packed meal so I've at least saved money there.
This is my first blog from my new shiny phone...that's a success too....really surprisingly today is probably balanced successes and failures....depending on how you lean on the balance
Monday 3 September 2012
Judgements
There is so many things in the world that I am entirely and completely ignorant in.
And I find I make judgements of whether I love or hate something new within the first few minutes of encountering it.
I try to alter my judgements as more information becomes available.
But I just realised for example if I were to be introduced to a new dance, and decide I hate it. For whatever reason, and it's often for childish and emotional reasons invovling the context in which this new idea or process was introduced.
Becuase I hate it, I am less likely to go where people do this dance, and I am less likely to find any new information to make me like it.
I am not planning to change or admonishing people who do it differently I am just making an observation upon how my brain works, just realising that I say I will alter my opinion but since my original opinion feeds my actions there is a limited chance my opinion will be altered.
Don't worry though, I do notice this happening (sometimes) and often attempt to look at th e'dance' or concept or whatever, objectively, separate from original ideals and reform an opinion. Doesn't mean it will change, but just opening myself up to new information.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
In medical school --> so far my grades are above average
- -- --- --- -
In my weight ---I am also above average. Wait, I am above the 'ideal' weight, but I don't know where the average lies, in fact I'm probably just plain old average in this area.
However, I am happy with my food, lots of fruits and veg, and a bit of meat and carb, right now I am full.
Although I am having trouble with over eating. With unintentional overeating.
Before dinner, I have a snack (usually a fruit), in order that my brian begins to get the food signal and I get fuller quicker ( my loose theory, no science in it, don't quote me).
BUT then, when I do eat dinner and get full quickly, I get confused and have this plan in my head of what I want to eat and I kind of get thrown off that my stomach is unwilling to eat the things I was PLANNING to eat. So I end up saying...well I'll just eat this one last thing. I know I am full, but seriously it's just a...'whatever' And then I am ridiculously full. But I feel no guilt whatso ever, because I am usually trying to squeeze one last fruit into my stomach and I just can't feel guilty about being over full on fruit.
But it is just interesting that my mind hasn't adjusted yet to what I am trying to get my stomach to do.
Exercise--not so much, but on days when I can't gym it I am doing a 3k walk (which isn't much but better than nothing).
I forsee no excuses for tomorrow, so gym here I come.
And I find I make judgements of whether I love or hate something new within the first few minutes of encountering it.
I try to alter my judgements as more information becomes available.
But I just realised for example if I were to be introduced to a new dance, and decide I hate it. For whatever reason, and it's often for childish and emotional reasons invovling the context in which this new idea or process was introduced.
Becuase I hate it, I am less likely to go where people do this dance, and I am less likely to find any new information to make me like it.
I am not planning to change or admonishing people who do it differently I am just making an observation upon how my brain works, just realising that I say I will alter my opinion but since my original opinion feeds my actions there is a limited chance my opinion will be altered.
Don't worry though, I do notice this happening (sometimes) and often attempt to look at th e'dance' or concept or whatever, objectively, separate from original ideals and reform an opinion. Doesn't mean it will change, but just opening myself up to new information.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
In medical school --> so far my grades are above average
- -- --- --- -
In my weight ---I am also above average. Wait, I am above the 'ideal' weight, but I don't know where the average lies, in fact I'm probably just plain old average in this area.
However, I am happy with my food, lots of fruits and veg, and a bit of meat and carb, right now I am full.
Although I am having trouble with over eating. With unintentional overeating.
Before dinner, I have a snack (usually a fruit), in order that my brian begins to get the food signal and I get fuller quicker ( my loose theory, no science in it, don't quote me).
BUT then, when I do eat dinner and get full quickly, I get confused and have this plan in my head of what I want to eat and I kind of get thrown off that my stomach is unwilling to eat the things I was PLANNING to eat. So I end up saying...well I'll just eat this one last thing. I know I am full, but seriously it's just a...'whatever' And then I am ridiculously full. But I feel no guilt whatso ever, because I am usually trying to squeeze one last fruit into my stomach and I just can't feel guilty about being over full on fruit.
But it is just interesting that my mind hasn't adjusted yet to what I am trying to get my stomach to do.
Exercise--not so much, but on days when I can't gym it I am doing a 3k walk (which isn't much but better than nothing).
I forsee no excuses for tomorrow, so gym here I come.
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