Mama mpapa, naine nkakupapa

I was looking for a picture to depict this point and I found this painting by a Zambian artist (Caleb Chisha), which I think may be titled exactly what I was saying.
Basically to 'papa' (is to do exactly what this mother has done for this child) and it says mom carry me like this and I will carry you like this.
Less literally meaning, take care of me and I will take care of you.
I have grown up expecting my mother to give me 100 percent, and she has given me even more than was in her capabilities. I have seen my mother struggle an incredible amount to give me the best she could. But ultimately that just inspired me to work harder because I am committed that one day I will take care of her. I see myself as an investment that will pay off one day.
However I feel like there are stages.
1. first my mom took care of me entirely
2. now I take care of myself (barely)
3. And next I will have enough to give back to her.

Having grown up like this, and still believing this is how the world works. I get confused when I find people still living in their parents homes in their late 20s or even 30s. I have a friend who has a career, and a car, and plans to get married soon but still lives with his parents. The problem I have with this is often, if you sleep in the same room you slept in when you were little, it is very difficult to change the dynamics of your relationship. If the context has remained the same it's difficult for the contents to change.
Additionally something really cool is happening in our family since we have arrived to stage 2, now that my mother is not taking care of me but doesn’t NEED me to take care of her, she can do what she WANTS. She has the joy of being young and able without the stress of having to follow me around and check on me and make sure I am safe.

The Plan

I believe there is a big picture plan in my life. Something that I am heading towards everyday.
But I also believe that everyday I should be doing something towards that plan, not saying 'I am going to help people when...'
It's about using the little I have now, to make a difference. Being faithful with the little so that God can bless me with more. And that includes little responsibilities.
Before coming to medicine, I had time to go to camps for disadvantaged children and do regular events for homeless people in my city. This was small versions of what I KNOW I am supposed to be doing later in my life. It was me being faithful with my time to do God's work.

One of the disadvantages I am finding with being in medicine, is it has made me very self-centric. All my time is focused on myself. I have to study on weekends, and right now I think I have scheduled medicine related things for almost half of my Christmas holidays. Which means I don't have time to think outside of myself and be giving of myself.

Currently I am working on finding a way of serving.
I don't believe that I should just focus on medicine because I will be able to help people afterwards. If I can't make time for others now, there is no way I'll be able to make time as an intern. Additionally, I don't know what God has planned for me in 5 years, Medicine may not be a destination but a direction, so it's important that I am doing what I know I am supposed to be doing all the way there and not putting it off.

It's just something I have noticed and will be activiley working towards (after this exam )

Introductions

I have been in a major city for 6 months.
I have been in medical school for 6 months.
I have been away from my family home for 6 months.
I have been nurturing braidlocs for about 6 months.
I have been living in the western world for about half my life (born and raised in Zambia).
I have been overweight (according to my BMI) for a long time.
I have been going to the gym for a few weeks.
I have been a Christian for many years (sorry hard to quantify, a lot of highs and lows in my faith).

Basically, these are the things I might be talking about.

To start with:
I should be sleeping, so I can study before church tomorrow morning. In this way Medicine and God can be fitted into my day. Since they are my two top priorities I have a lot of days where that is all I get done.